I have been plagued by depression since I was 18 but in today's post, I'll be keeping things light and airy, telling you guys how that elusive word is helping to me to rebuild who I am again!!
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| Image from www.happyologist.co.uk |
This sort of turned a light bulb on for me because for the first time in around six or seven years, I am genuinely in a good place. I don't sit on my own and sigh at my whole entire life anymore. Waking up doesn't fill me with dread every morning. I don't choose to go to sleep rather than getting on with my life anymore. This, for me, is huge!!
So here's the low-down on the happy funk:
- I'M DONE STRESSING
It's become very apparent over the last year that stress will do nothing for me in any way shape or form, so whether I pass my degree with 1st class honours or 3rd class honours, I'm done stressing about it. I will just do my best!
- I DON'T NEED A REGIMENTED PLAN
Go to school, get good grades, get into uni, graduate with honours, get a job, get a car, get a house, get a man, get married, have babies and live happily ever after.... Or wing it for a while. Work a little, save up and go somewhere great!
- THE ART OF ENJOYMENT
I have started doing things I enjoy again; reading books, writing blog posts, doing my make up-- even though I'm not going anywhere, sitting in coffee shops to people watch etc. The simple things we enjoy without worrying about judgment from others generates our own happiness.
- WORKING WONDERS
Literally, working.... I've been back to work for a while now and my goodness do I feel good. It's nice to know I'm earning money so I don't have bills and debt to worry about and it's a great feeling to know I can save up for something I really want!
- NURTURING TRUE FRIENDSHIPS
I have had my share of shits when it comes to friends. I've been back stabbed, shit on, had my efforts thrown back in my face and even had someone give me a royal middle-finger salute to a ten year friendship. But ever the resilient one, I pick myself up and I move on. I have friends I have knowN for so long now and having moved abroad, I can say with certainty who my true friends are!!
In fact, the one solid friendship I've had over the last decade has been with Vanessa, who hasn't been in the UK since the end of 2008. We spent four fabulous years together before emailing backwards and forwards, calling, messaging and poking each other online for the next six years. She has been there through everything and I am glad I was the weirdo she met back in 2004...
- Finally... LOVING MYSELF FOR JUST BEING ME!
That's right folks... My year abroad saw me battle depression without the aid of tablets and win (for now), despite there being times I thought I wouldn't come out alive. I reaffirmed the things I loved to do, to watch, to read etc, purely because I didn't have them at my fingertips. But mostly, I realised who I wanted to be and now that I'm back in the UK, I am able to take steps towards carving out exactly the kind of person I want to be, the person I want share with you and hopefully become someone you'll love and find inspiring! :)
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| Yeah... that's a cheeky wonky smile just for you babes! |
So essentially, in the pursuit of happiness I got depressed. Which lead to me appreciating what I had and the potential I could have, which has lead to me being er.. happy!! I don't know whether depression will creep back in, I hope not, because as completely surreal and odd "being happy" feels, I'm rather growing to like the sensation. So here is to many more happy posts!!! =D
And remember guys; keeps the peace, share the love and follow the wanderlust!
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